Chapter 6

      We all look for love and hope when we find it that time will grow along with us.  Unfortunately it doesn't happen often the way we dream of.  When do we let go how do we move on without resentment or broken hearts that rule our future?  I believe each chapter of our lives must be worked through and closed yet we must continue to hold on to any positive moments that made the experience worthwhile.  When one is overflowed with hurt that can be a long process. But determination may sound like a long word but it is a word we must learn to live by.  

I first got married at the age of 17 and yes I believed it would be forever.  My first husband I met while cruising Frishes with a friend of mine.  I remember it well for one of the two boys that parked next to us became my husband and the father of my daughter. Willie was tall, dark and handsome with captivating deep blue eyes that could haunt any woman.  We began dating and before long planned our marriage.  We got married in my parents home... It was filled with bluegrass music and flowers.  I had my hair blonde for a long time...as a child it had went from blonde to brownish.  That day I had decided to put it back natural.  I will never forget it cause in the pictures my makeup was so light that I looked like a ghost. LOL  Not long after that I went back to blonde.  I suppose I have had my hair about every color in the rainbow at one time or another.  I recall a time in high school when I had went swimming in chlorine water and was sitting in class when my teacher asked me about my blonde hair.  It was turning a lovely shade of green and I had no idea why. LOL  He advised me that my swimming was creating a conflict from the chlorine.  LOL  Oh well, another lesson learned. hehe

Willie enjoyed the outdoors.  He was an avid hunter and fisherman and I too enjoyed doing fishing.  I enjoyed catching nightcrawlers with him and baited my own hook and we would take off in the woods to a stream and sit for hours. My big fish story was one that was not planned.  I was pregnant at the time and had just put the worm on and tossed it in the water until I could wipe my hands. LOL  I stuck the pole between my legs while sitting on this log...... Well, needless to say that was when this fish decided to bite.  I was torn between the washcloth or the pole but grabbed the pole and caught my first big large mouth bass.  :o)  But I guess the object is to succeed with a fish no matter how one obtains it. hehe

One day while fishing I was seven months pregnant and we were sitting by the river.  We heard someone shoot a gun upstream....and I heard this high pitched sound that passed by my shoulder into the bushes behind me.  Willie knew what it was immediately.  Evidently they were paying no attention to what direction they were aiming their weapon.  He was livid and went to the truck and drove up there.  He had a shotgun in our truck and made his unhappy attitude quite clear. We left but never returned to that spot to fish again.

Willie was a good man and I have lots of good memories from that marriage. The reason I filed for divorce was because of a drinking problem that changed his personality to one I could not deal with. He would tell you today..as we are still great friends.. That drinking made our marriage impossible.

He would take off in the car which left me with none and disappear sometimes for a day or two. Well, I figured out if I took the coil wire off of the 1963 Chevy ...no one could leave :o)  But one day he beat me to the vehicle and took the wire. I stood there trying to figure out what was left I could take. LOL  I decided to switch all the plug wires.  I assure you it did not run..as a matter of fact it took us days to get it back in running order. LOL  

We have a beautiful daughter "Julie" who has his deep blue eyes and yet is a younger version of me. :)  She too is spunky and proud and has a great relationship with both of us.  That took years to achieve but worth the effort.  Every child is different in needs and desires but if both the parent and the child search for middle ground both grow and begin to understand the important things to hold onto once grown.

Making peace with the ones you love is the most important thing you can do for yourself that will free you and them. It makes no difference if it takes a day or a decade. It is a valuable prize that should be sought to win.

Our marriage didn't last long but I am glad I didn't miss it. He is still a tall, dark and handsome man with those same captivating eyes and doing well. :)  The song playing "These Eyes" is one of his favorites when we were young.

"Moving on is the only way you can go forward"

©belladora

Guestbook by Lpage    View My Guestbook

Back to Main Site