Chapter 15

During that season in my life I had made some wonderful kindhearted friends. I remember many offering to help me out of that abusive situation, pay for the divorce etc. Some were afraid I would end up a statistic. Posh , Kay, Ron, LadyJane and GwRider were great comfort to me at that time and also a man from the UK named Moria. Him and GWRider and I would go to VP and look for new ideas, places to buy or things to create in real life or just dream. These people I am sure were sent for unselfish reasons. Moria who worked for AW and I had begun to talk much more.He had flown over my state on the way back from Las Vegas and decided he wanted to visit me. Afterall we had been online friends for five years.

I moved back to my daughters and took time to heal with the help of friends and their generosity. SirRon is truly a great friend as well as Paul. These two men helped me in many ways and have been steadfast and true. Ron and I have had a blast in real life many times. He is a true knight.

After a year I rented a house for me and my son and his family. Here in this house I found peace. I had a studio to paint in for the first time, trees and birds around me and my own space with people I loved. Within 2 yrs Castles had bloomed again... my art stronger... words stronger and me happy for the first time in a long time. In August 2001, I decided to have the first Castles Reunion at my home. Alten came from France, Markku and Mika from Finland, Kay from NC, Christopher from GA, Fender from FL and some local friends as well as family. They brought smiles and gifts to me that will never be forgotten. Alten became our personal French Chef who is a superb cook and serenaded us with song and flute. He has the voice of an angel. We all played games, ate well, went antique shopping, played pool (Christopher beat me) and just hung out together for a week to fourteen days. Kay and Alten stayed with me while everyone else stayed in hotels as I didn't have enough room for all.  I painted a painting to highlight the reunion and sold it by auction through Castles that Alten named "Earth To Light". It found it's new home in Australia. Alten stayed a few days extra and we had a super time together and became the best of friends.

Alten and I had been working on the Rainbow Bridge project which involved the Leonardo de Vinci College in France and myself. We collaborated back and forth with the class writing to me and me to them to help them with their English. The art class studied my art and then created what they felt from it and painted their own and sent copies to me. I was invited to France for an art exhibition and to teach a class. Alten and I loved working together and he has been a true friend. I admire him greatly. He is a true Knight of Castles and to him and many I am their virtual Queen and they have been the wind under my wings.

We shared good conversation, fun times, danced, played cards, ate well and I am sure it is forever embedded in all of our hearts. Moria couldn't come and sent me a huge vase of flowers for the table.When the time to tell everyone goodbye we all said our farewells that were bittersweet for none us knew when we would meet again.

At the end of August Moria (Graham) flew over from England. We had planned three weeks of things to do and places to see. Graham knew I had trouble with panic attacks and relaxing so we had planned a visit to Amish Country where the pace was slow. We rented a great cabin for a week and planned to see everything. We took an amish buggy ride with a horse named "Tony" , went to the Wendell August Forge, ate at all kind of places including an swiss chalet restaurant. Graham had his first vanilla cappuccino there and loved it. We went shopping, played games in the cabin, and sat on the swing on the front porch for hours on end. This became a haven and sanctuary for us both. From there we visited a Castle... which compared to UK standards was far from being one. We went to a cave that really tested my panic attacks. I couldn't wait to get out of it although it was pretty. At the end the guide said above your head are 200 bats! I couldn't get around him fast enough and up the steps and out the door. They both found it amusing and I also laughed about the experience. We explored museums and the countryside and made memories along the dotted lines on the road. From there we spent a week at a Riverboat Casino where I actually took $20 and won $400. Naturally I quit while I was ahead. We had a great time but it was time for him to return. He returned home right before 911 happened.

I learned something about an Englishman on this journey. They are true romantics, honest, kind and loving. They aren't afraid to try new things or fail and I love their accents. Once he returned home he would phone me everyday four or five times and always very early in the morning so I could awake to his voice.  He sent flowers and gifts and made me feel really special. Then in the fall he planned a return trip for 3 weeks. This time we went to 3 different riverboats, toured parts of Kentucky and spent a week in Bardstown. Here we rode a carriage, toured a civil war museum, Lincoln's boyhood home, and shopped. The B & B where we were staying had a swing in an outside alcove where we were able to enjoy the cool autumn nights. We searched out trains to ride as he knew them extremely well and I found them fun and relaxing.

As I mentioned I have trouble with panic attacks and on the way back home we ran into some extremely dense fog.  He had a tendency to ride the white line too much on the right side. But over in the UK they drive on the opposite side as the Usa. So, I became nervous but didn't say anything. Then we went across the Ohio river on this bridge. You couldn't see hardly a thing and I got more nervous.  After crossing it and following the road along the river it overwhelmed me. I remember saying," Look I am on this side and there is the river and I don't swim very well. You are on your side so keep it over there!"  At that moment panic had pretty well peaked and I was almost ready to bail out. LOL  When we came upon a casino not far from there.. Graham pulled in and we went in and he took me to the bar and said, " Give her a double screwdriver.. and Darling I will be right back.  I did what he said and relaxed a little. He came back and said. "I tried to get a room here but they are full but I did get a room at a B & B down the street so lets go now and we will just enjoy the day here.  After we got settled in he sat me down and said, "Darling you don't know it.. but I went into the other lane as a joke back there and then I noticed you had completely cut out and was in trouble. I had to fix it and here we are. To him it was no big deal for he saw a problem and solved it. We had a great day that day and he took time to create a bond that would be there forever from his kindness. We built together and played together which is what life is about.

Graham was more than I had expected and we loved and respected each other and became engaged but getting together from two countries proved after 911 extremely not easy. He searched for jobs in the Usa and I waited. Months and months passed and time flew by and I guess fate had a different plan for our lives but he truly was one of the highlights of mine. Wherever he is I hope he knows how thankful I still am.

There was a painting I had done right before 911 happened. When I stood back from it this painting was quite eerie. It appeared to have a face of a man in it as well as a lady covered in blood with hands reaching up from below. It actually spooked me and I almost painted over it. I couldn't decide to call it hijacker or stalker. Once put in Castles a guy's mother who said she was psychic was upset by it. She actually spoke with me on the phone and said I had painted my own murder. Now that is a scary thing to hear.... but hard to believe. She told me to destroy it but I was intrigued on how she determined that meaning. Graham and I and many others studied it. It spooked a lot of people but it was different and I kept it.

"Later it is purchased but comes back home in a eerie way."

"Stalker"

One thing I have learned is people come in and out of ours lives and when they are gone you can only hope your touch upon them proved in some way memorable and fruitful.

Graham inspired many paintings and words and this is a couple I wrote for him titled  "Always on My Mind"     and  "Heart of Gold"   . We also wrote this duet years before titled "Explorers" and  before our departure "You Paint Me"

He was the only man who wore the screenname in Castles....."King of Castles."

I decided to let go of Castles and retire it from AW and take some real time in the real world.

"Once in awhile someone great comes along"

 "Little did I know a new journey would be opening to take me into today. It too will test my soul."

©belladora

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